love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize