what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
