I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
