Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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