I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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