i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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