I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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