Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
