I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
