Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
