**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
