I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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