you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it was like eating out sand paper
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
