so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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