yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
