It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
