Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
should my penis look like a turkey
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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