Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize