i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
