ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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