New invention idea: vibrating tampons
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
