and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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