If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize