Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my being single is dangerous.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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