24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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