My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
