Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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