Nicole vs. Life
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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