Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
