There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
