dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
