And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
