Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
