so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
