She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
