It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
