so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
