how can u be prego again
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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