Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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