Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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