its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Acid is not a monday night drug
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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