Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
