i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
