Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my phone needs a breathalizer
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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