I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
