Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Randomize
