i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
