Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize