I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
