My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's shark week go big or go home
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
