I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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