apparently the secret to your success is patron
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
