Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
