Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
