You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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