After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
