thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize