Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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