i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
