Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She needs sedatives and a leash
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
