fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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