I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
