Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
