party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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