idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
