sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
