i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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