If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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