it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
