Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
